Is It Abuse?

Learn the signs of abuse and what to do about if it is. Trigger Warning: this article contains mentions of sexual, physical, emotional, and psychological abuse.

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If you are in danger or need immediate help, please call 911 or contact Childhelp at 1-(800)-422-4453 in the USA.

Trigger Warning: Sexual abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, child abuse.

Parents, aunts, uncles, family friends, cousins, people from your church, or anyone else you have in your life are supposed to love and respect you. They understand that your body is yours. They touch you in safe ways by giving you hugs when you want and only kiss you on the cheek if you say it's okay.

They will talk to with kindness and love. If they hurt your feelings, they will take responsibility and say sorry. They will see you as you and listen to what you say.

Sometimes, these people will touch and talk to you in ways that are NOT okay. Let's look at what is safe and unsafe:

What Safe Talk Is

I like it when you talk to me like that. I don't like it when you hit your brother. Can you help me? Can you please clean up your room? When you yell at me, I don't feel safe. I need you to go to your room and take some time to cool down.

What Talk Isn't

Name calling of any kind using bad words: Hey dummy. Stupid. Asshole. Bitch. This is verbal abuse.

Put-downs: You're too stupid to do anything. You worthless little shit bird. You're not as smart or pretty as your sister. I hate children like you. I wish you were never born. This is verbal abuse.

Unsafe Touch

Hitting you again and again to hurt you, pinching, twisting your wrists, tickling that hurts, hitting you with things. Pushing, shoving, pulling hair. Anything that hurts and they don't stop when you say no is physical abuse.

Hugging you when you don't want to be hugged is not right.

What Sexual Abuse IS

It's when an adult kisses you on the mouth

It's when an adult touches your chest or breasts (boobies), and they don't stop when you say stop or no, even if it happens one time.

An adult makes you watch movies or look at pictures, books, or magazines where people or children don't have clothes on and are having sex. This is sexual abuse. No one should show you these things, even if you are a teenager.

An adult touches your vagina (your pee-pee), anus(butt hole) penis(wiener or dick), or testicles (balls). This is sexual abuse. Adults should respect your body and leave it alone.

An adult shows you or makes you touch their breasts, chest, or down there (their vagina, penis, or testicles). They should not show you. They should show other adults, not teens or children.

An adult puts their fingers, a thing, their tongue, or their penis inside you. No adult should put anything inside you.

An adult forces you to kiss them, touch them, or have sex with them. It's your body. They should not do these things to you.

If an adult tells you no one will believe you, or they threaten to kill you someone you love if you tell, this is a lie to shut you up. Tell an adult or call the police.

All of the above is unsafe touch. It is sexual abuse. It is not your fault. It is the adult's fault. They are being bad.

Why It's Not Your Fault

You're a child or teenager. No adult should touch your body or force you to do things that make you feel bad about yourself. This is a rule that people have made. This rule is true anywhere in the world.

The adults in your life should protect you and respect your body and how you feel. If they touch you or hurt you and they do any of the things above, they are abusing you.

Even if your body felt good and what they did to you didn't hurt, it is NOT okay for an adult to touch you or speak to you sexually. It IS an adult's job to protect you and respect your body.

If You Think This Is Happening To You

If you're being abused: tell someone you really trust. If that person doesn't believe you, tell someone else. You can tell your teacher, the nurse at school, your aunt, your grandmother, or the lady in the office.

Whomever your tell, they should believe you. If they get angry, find someone else. If they say you lied, tell someone else. Keep telling people until someone listens. If no one believes you, call the police yourself and say "I have been sexually abused. I need to file a police report."

You can call Childhelp at 1-(800)-422-4453 in the USA.

They can help you. No matter what happens, I believe you. Don't give up. It's not your fault.